Wanna buy a monkey?

2007-04-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!

Don Hertzfeldt - Rejected

>http://Don Hertzfeldt - Rejected

2007-04-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

Hello!

Im pissed off. I just wrote a big blog and it f'd up! Goddam!

Heres my friend Towelie

He is from South Park. I am addicted to it. He is a marijuana smoking towel that serves no purpose whatsoever on the show. I love him. Please enjoy the Towelie soundboard below.

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_soundboards/towelie.htm

I am in a P2/3 class at the moment at DowanHill Primary School. Only 6 weeks to go till I am a qualified teacher. Scary! I cant wait till the year is over. Its draggin on a bit at them moment. Lesson plans, essays are all getting a bit old now. I just wanna get to teaching, and more importantly getting paid to teach. Soon enough.......

I promise to update this damn blog very soon, with some pics of beautiful old me! Hope you are all doin awesome!

Peace out!

D-Roc

2007-02-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

Hell Begins!!!

Tomorrow it all begins...... I start a two week placement in a local nursery (pre-school). I will be surrounded by 61 children from 830AM till 330PM. It will not be pretty. They are between the ages of 3-5. And I'm scared of them. They cannot control their bowels, they have runny noses, and they smell weird. This will be the longest two weeks of my life. I have a hard enough time understanding grown up Glaswegians, now I must translate the musings of mumbling, incoherent spawns of the nation. Say a prayer for me please!

I fear this is what I will encounter for the next little while.....

2007-02-02T05:06:00.000-08:00

Weekend Past, Weekend to come.....

Last weekend we went to visit Jessica's brother Matthew and wife Stephanie near Edinburgh. It was quite a good weekend. It was Burns Night on Saturday so we had the traditional meal of Haggis, Neeps and Tatties. MMMMMMM..... Uncle Roland was also there, as was Jess' other brother Sam, with his wife Aileen and newborn son Rory. So, what did we do for fun? Besides drink? We played Scale-Electrics!!! (Electric Cars..) As you can see from the pictures below. It was quite intense. Many grueling races. I had trouble however as I was not used to driving on the wrong side of the road.

Also, a rarity, the weather was actually nice. So we had to go explore the area. There is a nice beach nearby so we took a walk down by the bay......
Down by the Bay
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a bear?
Combing his hair?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a goose?
Kissing a moose?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a whale?
With a polka dot tail?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a pig?
Wearing a wig?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a cat?
Wearing a hat?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a dragon?
Pulling a wagon?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever see a goat?
Wearing a coat?"
Down by the bay.
Down by the bay,
Where the watermelons grow,
Back to my home,
I dare not go,
Cause if I do,
My mother will say,
"Did you ever have a time?
When you couldn't find a rhyme?"
Down by the bay.
----THE END----

Anyways............................. sorry about that, i get distracted sometimes.....

And then we played some Jenga!!!!!

So that essentially was my weekend away last week. This weekend.... I will be working on a Language assignement! WoooHoooo!!! And Saturday night we will be going to see Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!!!!! They will hopefully play some good old fashioned rock and roll tunes for me to groove to. Lookin forward to it. Concert Poster below!!!

2007-01-25T06:05:00.000-08:00

Rick Springfield!

I felt my blog was missing a little something. Then it hit me..... We all need more Springfield in our lives. I've been aware of this for a long time, but some of you out there may have not clued in yet. This man is an icon. One of Americas greatest actors (General Hospital) but also a man when he puts pen to paper creates lyrical masterpieces. Jesse's Girl is arguably the greatest song of all time. The Springfield rocks out on this tune with not 1, not 2, but YES 3 guitar solos. The man can melt faces. So please take a look, as Present my 'Ode to Rick Springfield'

The man...

The groundbreaking album....

The song........... Please enjoy the Video..... Watch and learn you amatuers.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFAmUv3Ix98

We must treasure this living legend.....

good bye.....

2007-01-18T04:03:00.000-08:00

An Artiste is Born!!!!!

Well hello one and all. This week has been so very exciting at University. We had to choose an Option Class to take at University. I chose Art. I did this because I am crap at art. What will i teach the children?? So I figured that this option would be for me. I appear to have taken the 'easy' option, as others have to write essays, debate global warming, and speak German. I however get to use crayons, paint and glue sticks. Whay a joy! So after the first week of art, I thought I should share some of my creations.
This is a feather. Enough said. Man am I good.
This is a chalk and pastel drawing of a fox. This is where my art started to go very wrong. As you can see my fox appears to be cross eyed. This was no fun.

This is my pride and joy. I feel that it is my best piece of work to date. Its a fish. I made him. I will call him Jimmy the Fish. You had to make a print with styrofoam and them slap the copies on paper. I m might mass produce this. It would sell.

I got in trouble from the art teacher on this one. Its a castle. Apparently we were 'supposed' to make realistic looking castles. Now if you look at mine what do you see? YES, its quite obvious that my castle is a bunch of faces. The teacher didnt see this. She told me to "Look at the blue piece and tell me what you see?" and I replied, "Its a face!" she then said, "NOw did you mean to make it look like a face?" and I then acted very surprised and shocked that it was actually a face. She didnt find this very amusing. "This isnt perspective art!" "I'll let you get away with it this time!" Thanks lady. Whatever happened to being creative? She was crushing my aritsitc direction. No creativity allowed I guess.....

If you can guess what this is you should receive a prize. We were given pictures of actual monkeys, arangutans, apes etc... Our goal was to copy one of them using shape. This is what happened. I am in a class with 30 artists, all of which made exceptional monkeys. And I come up with something that looks like whatever the hell this is......

And last but not least. I call this Cheese Burger Face. I modelled it after Jessica. She was my inspiration. This is the face seh makes when she wants a cheeseburger. Its probably the most life like and realistic art i've done. Also, I was a rebel on this one. We were supposed to make the shirt a tartan print. I was ma about the castle fiasco, so I did polka dots. I really showed her didnt I?

Bye for now! Hopefully next week I will have some more masterpieces for you! GO LEAFS!

Signed,

Daniel 'Picaso' Torok

2007-01-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

MONEY CANT BUY ME HAPPINESS!

But it would sure help!!! Well hello there people! Long time no see! I'm back in action in sunny Scotland now. Enjoying UNiversity and the many exciting lectures that come with that. Ive been busy this week with art and PE lessons. Painted a monkey and a fox! I am ssoooooo talented.... and today i think i pulled a muscle trying to tie my shoelace in PE.

This posting is for everyone who I may have lent money to in the past. I WANT IT BACK! If there was ever a time where I lent you a dollar, or 10 cents for a snickers bar, I WANT IT BACK. I am now officially a broke student. Ahhh the life... so think way back in all of your collective memory banks. Way way back. If these words, "Dont worry about it" "You dont need to pay me back" "Its on me" "Get me back some other tome" every left my mouth when handing over money, I dint mean any of them.I take it all back, The time is now to pay up, with interest. So please send your re-payments to:

Broke Student

Flat 1/3 50 White Street

Partick, Glasgow

Scotland

G11 5EA

Thank you for your time.

2007-01-05T06:06:00.000-08:00

JT on SNL, it's his d*#k in a box.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

Hopefully the link works. I'm not sure how to link YouTube videos to my blog.
King Kong Bundy

2006-12-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Christmas Lights in Glasgow

I was out and about in the big city today, and had to go check out the Christmas lights in George Square. I think that they were turned on last week sometime. Here we have the only ice rink in Scotland. I think they put up a skating rink every December. No sticks, no pucks, no nets, figure skates only.
Reindeer in Scotland. Guarding the BIG TREE. Pulling Santas sleigh. Santa is mysteriously missing though. He must be busy getting all my presents together. I hope his printing press is working properly. Santa, I would like only large bills, in a non sequntial order. Thanks big man.e! OOOOOOh! AAAAAAAHHH! Soooooo big. Sooooo bright. Huge electric bill. Glasgow city hall in the background. Berry Berry Nice. And finally, the huge phallic symbol in the middle of the square. It even has a nice ribbon on the top.
Hope everyone is getting ready for Xmas! I'll be back in Vancouver on the 12th of Decemeber. You get to enjoy my company till the 3rd of January! Get the beers chilled. See ya soon.

2006-11-29T13:14:00.000-08:00

Say Vancouver....

I talk funny. It's official. 25 elementary students aged 9-11 have told me so. "Say Vanvouver, Mr. whatsyourname." And I reply with something that sounds like "Vaaaaaancoooooooouuuuuver" apparently. I tell you the laughs we have! Woah Nelly. I'm in stitches all day.
Bye.

2006-11-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

Strange Things found in Trousers...

Warning! Warning! Warning!
Be on the lookout for suspicious items in your trousers. Upon visiting a local Glasgow High School, a young man informed me of the following:
"Sir, I think there may be a pound coin in my trousers."
This was done while the young delinquents hand was down his pants. So be warned, If you have lost some money recently dont check under the sofa cushions, dont check all your coat pockets, just put your hand down your trousers, you never know what you may find.

In unrelated news, here is a picture of a gorilla smoking a cigar.

In Vancouver December 12th till January 3rd! Save your money, I expect lots of drinks and presents!

D-Roc

P.S. Teaching is going well.

2006-11-14T10:12:00.000-08:00

Why I left Japan......

I was sent this email by a friend in Japan. It contained a link to the following youtube site:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqvSSYKwcds

In a nutshell, this is the reason I was forced to leave the land of the rising sun. I couldnt face the music.

2006-10-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

THE NATURE BOY! WOOOOOOOO!

Not a Hurricanes fan AT ALL, but found this cartoon quite funny.
P.S. Wait for the outtakes.

http://www.newsobserver.com/1235/story/502674.html

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2006-10-28T15:31:00.000-07:00

Mars Bars and More.......

Happy weekend everybody. I am very tired. I've started my placement at Cairns Primary School. Now 6 weeks of lesson plans to be made..... fun fun fun.
Well, Friday night saw a plethora of beverages find their way down my gullet. I blame it all on a very evil man, Mr. Harper!!! I have the pleasure of working with this man, he's known as Simon to adults. He likes to drink, and in turn make you drink. There is no such thing as "lets go for a beer" with Simon. When those words are uttered, it usually means trouble. And Friday night trouble was spelt like this: "Can I have a million Jagger and Red Bull shots please, accompanied by a few thousand pints of your finest lager, and we'll finish off with a few rum and cokes, thank you garcon." Needless to say we got f'd up. It was good fun, not only because the drinks were flowing, but my friend Chris was up from London to visit for the evening. It was great to see him, have a chat about our year in Japan, and watch him consume chocolate bars like they were goin outta style. Here he is polishing off a Mars bar in one bite....

MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, thats my Friday night. It was great seeing Chris, and having a great night out in Glasgow. And now its Saturday and i've done nothing but sit in my pajamas all day!!! Wonderful!!!! Jess and I had 1 quick outing tho to the local grocery store to buy a pumpkin. We spent hours carving the following masterpiece....

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Bye for now!!! D-Roc

2006-10-21T04:02:00.000-07:00

SO BORING.....

So, the days at Uni keep going, and somehow they get more boring each day. Yesterday I had to sit through a 2 hour lecture, to 400 people!, about how to breathe and hum properly.!! Wow! The excitement was overwhelming. Argh.. I think i've known how to breath for about 30 years lady, thanks for the advice though. And why do I need to know how to hum? Is this going to be in some future curiculum soon? Sometimes I think they are testing us, seeing how for they can push us bfore we snap. I may be very close, or I may ask for my money back for some of these shit lectures. Luckily I had my laptop with me, so I could surf the internet. And I found this website....

www.badgerbadgerbadger.com

I'm so happy that people know what to do with their spare time. I wish I had the drive that whoever created this has. Honestly, its refreshing that people can be so productive with their time. All I do is watch TV and surf the Net. I could use my time to provide my own wisdom to the world. Anyways...

Kelsey and Wes. You complained that there was no Porn or Weed on my site... So I tried my best to find a picture that provided both for you.. Enjoy...

2006-10-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

ARDFERN!

Well Hello there! Had a lovely weekend at Jess' parents house in Ardfern. Nothing really there to be honest with you. 1 pub, 1 store (where you put everything on a tab) and about 300 people? Pretty small, very relaxing.
That is the main road in..... And let me tell you something... if you like sheep, and I know most of you do! This is the place to come! You don't need an alarm clock here because the sheep bastards will wake you up at the crack of dawn. This is because there are sheep right outside your window and all the way up the hill. Want proof?

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (sheep noises) Thats the excitement from here. Just trying to get ready for 6 weeks of teaching my own class. Loads of stuff to plan, cause i'm the cool teacher! Peace out! I'll write again soon!

signed,

One Man Gang

2006-10-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving Bitches!
Been a very busy weekend. Have to hand in a giant planning file for University tomorrow. I've written 35 pages of non-sense. I am so smrt.
Gonna make our own Thanksgiving dinner tonight. Here's what we'll have:
1. Turkey Cold Meat Slices.
2. Potato Chips (preferably Dill Pickle)
3. Bread, of the buttered variety.
4. Irn Bru (bright orange Scottish cola)
5. Ketchup
6. Deep fried Mars bar for desert.

MMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!
here's what I think of all you guys having a proper meal.......

2006-10-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

DA BEARS!!!!!

Thats right my friends, the mighty Chicago Bears are 4-0!!! Can you smell a Super Bowl title?? I think so... I think its time to bring back the Fridge and Jim McMahon for an all new version of the Super Bowl Shuffle!!!!

And on that note! Uni is goin great. I've been very busy, as I have started teaching my class. I teach every Thursday and Friday now. Once I got the first lesson under my belt I was fine. Hopefully smooth sailing from here on in! Doubtful......

Hockey season starts on Wednesday! GO LEAFS GO! I think this is our year! Its always our year! I'm a little worried tho, because I think my brother plays on the Leafs. Can you guess whick one he is?

The similarities are quite scary! I cant tell who my real brother is!!!!!!!!!!

Peace out in the middle east!

Danny T

P.S. Send Dill Pickle Chips

2006-09-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

Moi in Glasgow!

Well Hello there!! Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to visit my blog. Its new , its exciting, and I will try to update it on a regular basis. Pictures, witty comments, that kind of thing. So please come and look now and then. It also is a great way to avoid all those group emails.
Right.... so, I am in Scotland. I am at University. Strathclyde Uni to be exact. I am taking a 1 year primary education course. Yes, I will be educating the youth of the world!!!! Scary thought. I have my first 2 lessons this thursday and friday. I might just pee my pants. Anyways, thats me for now.
I am living in Glasgow , in a lovely wee flat. Has A Flat warming party last weekend. Was good fun, but didnt get to sleep untill 4 am... Im too old for that stuff..... arghhhh....

This is a picture of the living room, and the view from our window.
Went and saw a wicked awesome band, actually 2 wicked awesome bands. The first was My Morning Jacket, they rocked the house, melted a few faces. And this week went to see Aberfeldy. More of a melow vibe, but cant go wrong when the keyboardist wears a wolf mask!

Spent the weekend in Edinburgh with Jess' brother, his frenchie wife, and her mother and father. It was really nice. We ate loads of cheese. Some of it i decided smelled like farts. I didnt eat those cheeses. I dont usually eat things that smell like sweat socks.

Dont know what else to say really..... Hope you check my blog, please come back!!! Talk to y'all soon!
Peace in the middle east!
I'm out
signed

Big John Studd

P.S. Is he your father Christopher?